Does Fantasizing About Women Make Me Gay?

Sat, 12/04/2010 - 11:40
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am a 24 year old woman and I've been masturbating since i was 7-8 and i love it!! best thing god created for men and women. anyways I've been wondering when i masturbate i always think of other women in my sexual fantasies when I'm doing it. Does this mean that I could be a lesbian? (I am a straight woman). I would love to hear your advice.



Dear F,

There will be a lot of different opinions about sexual orientation. And it's different for men and women. For instance, women are usually far more flexible in experimenting with same sex while men tend to avoid it. In terms of our basically male dominated view of sexuality, a woman having sex with another woman is a turn-on for most men and enhances her femininity. However, a man having sex with another man destroys his masculine image. It's just one more sexual double standard established by the ruling class of straight men in a world drenched in homophobia.

I personally believe a person's sexual preference is far more fluid than we dare to admit. That's why the label "Bisexual" is very useful. We might have a period of experimenting with same sex partners but many return to their basic orientation of heterosexual. I love the term "hetero-flexible." Why not try it all?

Anyone who delves into sexual pleasure will have had many varied sexual experiences with both genders. In spite of the fact that many folks are involved in consensual role play or mixing pain with pleasure, the world of Slave & Master is still misunderstood. Another hidden aspect of human sexuality is bestiality in spite of the fact that sex with animals has been depicted in sex art throughout history in different cultures.

When it comes to our sexual fantasies, I'd say the sky is the limit. We all know that rape is a popular masturbation fantasy for many women. This does not mean we want to have the experience. I make it a point not to censor myself by allowing the thought police to enter my mind.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Don't Hold Back

Sat, 12/04/2010 - 16:07

I am 38 years old.  I have been masturbating since I was very young.  I like men, but when I masturbate, I get more turned on by watching women touch themselves than by looking at men at all.  I understand.  I think it is because, even though we are attracted to men, we are at the moment pleasuring ourselves, so we are centered on female pleasure.  I like the way my body feels, which turns me on.  I can't say I couldn't have a physical relationship with another woman. I would love to if given the opportunity.  So, enjoy yourself!  These are YOUR fantasies.

Mind You Don't Miss Out

Sun, 12/05/2010 - 00:00
Miss Moonlight

I think with something like this if you are fantasizing about it you should go to the next step and try for real.  Otherwise you may miss out on something very soft and special which would be sad.
I never even though about women sexually then some years ago I was beautifully and deliciously seduced by a woman when it was the last thing I expected, it was a huge turning point in my life.

I'm similar to the original poster..

Mon, 12/06/2010 - 17:48

I'm similar to the OP. Honestly, I like to watch porn for the women, because most of the time the men are fugly, have way too big of penises to even think of being pleasurable & are totally not to my taste.. In fact, I have *never* seen a porno where I thought the men were hot. I've seen some where I like how the man moves, cause he's got obvious skills.. I've seen some where I've loved how his penis looks.. But never have seen one, ever, in my entire life, where I thought the man was sexy. I love looking at women's bodies & I do fantasize about them quite often, but at the end of the day, I want a wiener. lol I'm not really into or open to having sex with a woman, I just love how they look. I generally masturbate to women a lot more often (95-99% of the time) than I do men, but I wouldn't even consider myself to be even bi-sexual, because I'm not interested in actually having sex with a woman. About as far as I'd ever be interested in going w/ a woman would be playing with someone's boobs. I'm not interested in sex or watching my partner have sex with another woman. It's just a nice fantasy for me. :) I check women out in real life, too, but like I said, at the end of the day, I always prefer a wiener. XD