I Get Anxious At the Thought of Sexual Intimacy

Thu, 04/03/2014 - 13:52
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Betty,

I have what I believe is performance anxiety. I get anxious at the thought of pursuing sexual intimacy. I have had it all my life and with todays stressor, its even worse. I been told always that I am great in bed and am not a selfish lover.

The mechanicals have been tested and are fine. I have seen a sex therapist, urologists and my primary although I moved and have a new one.

How can I overcome this at 38 years old, healthy, fit, seperated father of 4 children.

Dear P,

I don't get it. What do you mean by "performance anxiety?" If it's just feeling nervous or anxious about first time sex with a new partner, I consider that to be average. After all the sexual experiences I've had, I'm a Nervous Nellie with a new partner every time. It's just a natural part of being excited by the unknown.

This would only be considered a "problem" if you were unable to "perform" or it kept you socially isolated. It's like every time I'm to speak to a group, I have all kinds of anxious feelings plus my heart pounding while I'm sweating profusely, Once on stage after a few words, I'm home free and loving it. Sound like sex with a new person? So accept those anxious feelings as proof you're alive and well.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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for real?

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 09:16


You really don't know what it means when a man complains of "performance anxiety" in the context of having seen uroligists?

Well, here are two hints that might help:

1) The subject is sex.

2) The subject is not public speaking.