All of His Fantasies are About CD Men or Transgender Women

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 08:44
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I have been reading you blog for about 3 years now and it has been a great help! I am not sure who else i can ask about the situation I am finding myself in. I have met a wonderful man who pretty much from the beginning disclosed that he was into crossdressing. That in itself did not put me off one bit.

However, due to the distance and schedules, we do not have a chance to meet in person too often. We had been intimate several times and share fantasies often. As our relationship progressed, I realized that pretty much all of his fantasies are about being with other cd man and transgender women and rarely I am a part of it.

It does make me feel like he is not into me really. Should I be concerned?

Dear M,

Yes, absolutely be concerned. You are not into cross dressing and you are a cis women. While he sounds like a cool guy and you can enjoy sharing all kinds of fantasies with him, he sounds more like a "fuck buddy" rather than a someone you might want to embrace as a serious lover.

As long as this affair is based on mutual pleasures enjoy it. Just don't start projecting this as a possible future for either one of you. I'd see him as one of my girlfriends with her very own flesh dildo. That could be quite kinky and fun.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

CD male plus open-minded female

Sun, 06/22/2014 - 23:26

To be fair, it seems that neither M nor her male friend has brought up making theirs a more permanent sort of relationship. He might perhaps be a bi person who leans more towards men but can still appreciate an open-minded woman from time to time. And M is clearly more open-minded than most of us. I don't know about that 'flesh dildo' thing, though. How many women would care to be seen as having her very own 'human fleshlight'?

Maybe not!

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 12:50
Melissa Murica (not verified)

You need to do some counceling with someone who is trans or specializes in trans relationships.
I am transgendered/crossdresser (or whatever label you prefer). I have been happily married for almost 20 years to my lovely wife and I love her deeply and am totally attracted to her.
BUT, most of my fantasies are about other CD/trans girls or about me being the woman in a relationship. And that''s just fine!
If he tried to live out his fantasies, he would likely discover that reality doesn't match the fantasy at all. He is simply attracted to the female form and to feminine things. Crossdressers tend to drstically overemphasize those things, which explains the attraction. If you come to bed dressed like a frilly, sissy, demure, submissive, slutty feminine crossdresser, I'll bet he'd LOVE it!
Also, he likely has some degree of autogynophilia. Nearly all crossdressers do. So make him feel like the beautiful princess he is inside and anjoy the mind-blowing sex that usually follows!
And most of all TALK to him! Find out what he likes, and make sure he knows what YOU like. I promise you he'll go crazy if you pick an outfit for him that YOU like! But talk to him and let him reassure you that you are the one he wants.

Thank you Milissa. Experience trumps theory every time.

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 16:51
Betty Dodson

I'm thrilled to see D&R grow so big that our tribe is growing too. Nothing better than hearing from a person who is willing to share first person experiences. The Bodysex workshops are based on that very concept. It's a total winner across the board. Happy orgasms come in a HUGE variety! Let's all of us enjoy the fabulous diversity of sexual pleasures.