My Confession: I'm Intimidated...No Scared to Head Back to Norway

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 09:15
Submitted by Carlin Ross

I'm making a confession: I'm head back to Norway. Why? When they broadcast your vulva and your orgasm on national television on their most popular reality show, it's kind of freaky.

Betty was supposed to do a private session with the young reality star who'd never had an orgasm. I was there to play personal assistant. When she got cold feet on set, they asked me to play vulva stunt double and I had a minute to make up my mind - rather to put my money pussy where my mouth is. And I didn't hesitate. I knew what we were doing, I knew the impact, and I also knew we'd be on a plane headed back to nyc before they'd even finished editing our episode.

When our episode aired, sexologists around the world applauded us. Most viewers were supportive but some thought it was porn. It's interesting how explicit male imagery is normative but female sexual imagery is pornographic. In that same episode a young man makes his first trip to the urologist where he's shown images of penises and they discuss size, shape etc. No one thought it was porn. Maybe it was the orgasm. It was the orgasm.

Several commenters remarked about how I'd never get married now that the world had seen my wares. I laughed at first but then it kind of hurt. It brought back all the past rejections from family, friends, lovers, potential husbands. It breaks your heart when you believe in something so intensely that you sacrifice everything - even your personal happiness - but people can't see who you really are because of their own sexual repression. Their reaction is exactly why you're doing what you're doing...but you still want to be accepted.

Sex is normal. Sex is intimacy. Sex is the only reason we're here. But we can't talk about it. Well, we can but only if we stick to the myths. We can use sex to market entertainment and hawk shitty products but have a real informative conversation about sex and it's pornography. And I'm fucking sick of pornography. It's everywhere. Even GE has pornographic holdings. We spend billions to watch other people fuck but say "clitoris" on television - "vagina" in the state legislature - and you're censored. Does anyone else get how fucked up this is?

So here I am heading back to the place that made my vulva famous wishing I was on a beach somewhere - not preparing for 8 days of television interviews. But I need to check my fear and let go of the shame because I love what I do...I love who I am...and we're putting the vulva on the map.

Editor in Chief & Keeper of All Things Betty Dodson

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Tue, 06/19/2012 - 10:15
doggygirl_2045 (not verified)

Thank you thank you thank you! I have shared this webpage with all of my friends because of the information you and Betty share. You are both brave and stunning women. As a woman in her early 20's, I strive to be as open and honest as you two are. 

Keep it up, and that you for al of your work.

I admire you for doing this.

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 15:42
Jake E

And so do a lot of other people. Just think of all that support when you feel afraid. For anyone worth having, this would make them more likely to want you. Very definitely. Big kudos to you!!

I love your courage

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 17:14

Keep going. I am rooting for you.

Bravery in action

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 18:17

You're brave to live out your convictions in a way more public than most of us can imagine. I'm saddened by the naysayers and the catty or insensitive comments, because those folks just don't get it. We are eventually going to overcome our cultural shame because of people like you, who are willing to move to the forefront and show all of us that our bodies and our sexuality are here to be celebrated rather than suppressed. The average person in our society isn't going to get what you're doing. How can they, raised in a culture that thinks breastfeeding is obscene? You and your colleagues are the ones who will one day change this thinking.

Something about you...

Tue, 06/19/2012 - 19:34
Liandra Dahl (not verified)

You're right to recognise their comments as an indication that you have power to bring change to that which they want unchanged. Sexual honesty, integrity and joy for all sexes. I think these haters can feel that there is something about you that is different to who they 'expect' to be showing their beautiful cunt and orgasm publicly. This something about you speaks more broadly to women then porn has so far so they're trying to reduce what your're doing to 'porn' which is just (to them at least) smutty entertainment. Far less threatening to the sex negative woman controlling status quo than education, revolution and liberation. They see that you're different, they see that women have a hunger for the information and support you two provide. Its undeniably so and they see that you can't be stopped, can't be shamed, refuse to be shamed, and you do so publicly for other women to see...

 ...and thus they fear you. 

I always liked to use this for a theme song at times like this

Thumbs up!!!

Wed, 06/20/2012 - 15:41
Anastacia (not verified)

hey you two "heroines of sexuality"
I just loved this video. You two are just great. Keep on doing what you do!!! Carlin you are just beautiful in this video!! If young women and men would watch this sort of movies, they would lern much more from it, then form a stupid porn, where all the vulvas are bleached and shaved and all the penises are perfect and boring.
This young women you are teaching is so shocked watching you, but i bet she is watching porns like a normal movie or so.
By masturbating "in public", you Carlin just gave me the courage to keep up improving my orgasms and not to give up on them!!!
thank you so much!!! happy orgasms xoxo

Carlin is the goddess of love

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 06:21

Just wanted to say, that you are the most sexually poweful woman in America.  You are a groundbreaker and a role model.
Everything you do has the potential to create personal happiness and fulfillment.
There is nothing pornographic or dirty about that video.  It is the sweetest and most positive experience of female sexuality I can imagine. 
Betty is awesome for making all this happen.
In my experience mutual sexual pleasure is the closest we get to transcendent joy!
Thank you ladies and keep on doing what you do.

Dear Carlin, Congratulations

Thu, 06/21/2012 - 10:17
Elias (not verified)

Dear Carlin,
Congratulations on standing your ground. As for the doubts, I assume every person challenging the close-minded state of its time fights their own struggles. And voicing those helps.
Also, northern Europe is a lot more relaxed than the current US in terms of sexuality, society and whatnot. It's important for those with a voice to stand up against the current backlash and not give in to the threats and shaming.
Thank you.