“I’m Here Because Of My Lineage. The Shame Ends Today”

Mon, 04/16/2018 - 07:46
Submitted by Natasha

This past weekend I led a Bodysex retreat away from home for the first time in the 3 years that I’ve been facilitating these circles. I dreamt of bringing Bodysex to other places even before I began this work, but have always held back from actually doing it — with old stories of self worth and insecurities coming up. Encouraged however by the loving support and confidence of my lover who continually invited me to bring Bodysex to Quebec, I began opening to the idea. He introduced me to Marika, my wonderful sister who offered her assistance and perfect womb like home for the circle, as well as a talented vegan chef who seemed very excited at the prospect of nourishing our pleasure with his food. The combination of support and encouragement felt to me like I was being welcomed into a loving mama’s bosom and reminded me that I’m never alone in anything. As the registrations began coming in I felt both humbled and afraid of the depth and honour of what this meant, all the while reminding myself that my staying small doesn’t serve anyone……

Each body sex circle seems to have it’s own theme that develops organically and somehow, like providence, the theme often seems to match the needs of many of the women in the circle. “I’m here because of my lineage” said a woman across from me as we took turns sharing our stories of physical and sexual shame. Softly and lyrically alternating between English and French she explained that she wanted to heal the pain of the women who came before her — to honour them and also so that she doesn’t have to carry their shame and pain anymore. “It ends today.”

It’s common in Bodysex circles to hear women talk about wanting to heal so that future generations don’t need to carry this shame, but this was the first time I’d heard spoken the intention to heal for the ancestors who came before us. Touched deeply by this I thought of my own mother, my grandmothers, aunts, and women I don’t even know the names of. I wondered what their stories were, what pain and joy they held deep inside their bodies, under their clothes and between their legs. What lived and unlived dreams did they have? Had they ever felt safe to cry in shame or to cry in pleasure? I envisioned their shame like a heavy but invisible burden, attached to their bodies, their wombs, the lips of their vulvas and their silence. In what ways I wondered, do I still hold this invisible weight and in what ways am I passing it on silently to my children?

As the weekend went on we bonded over our shared stories, time in the hot tub, laughter, fantasies, eating delicious vegan food and being loving witnesses to the beauty of each other’s bodies. We took turns opening our vulvas, expressing adoration and wishes in recognition of this valued part of our body that is so often ignored or forgotten. Different women spoke of visions of their ancestors or nameless women in their dreams and I felt the power of our experiences extend far beyond the walls we were in. When it came time to celebrate our orgasms together we were quiet at first but, as our pleasure built, our sounds carried through the ceiling to the kitchen where the chef was preparing our plates. I couldn’t help but think of how symbolic it was to have a man come to the house — solely to be in service to us — while we celebrated our bodies and our pleasure on our own. Just WOW.

Full of sexual energy and inspired by the visions and sounds of women in pleasure around me, I brought myself to orgasm over and over. As I did I imagined the women in my lineage with their secret stories of shame and pleasure and I lifted the stories for them, like weights hanging off of my body, and threw them up into the air to be released with my orgasmic energy. I came again and again with this image in my mind, physically and energetically cleansing my ancestors and myself of their shame. As I did so I acknowledged the honour of being able to live the path that I do, the strength that I have to do so, and felt absolute gratitude for the women before me who led the way. “I’m here because of my lineage, and It ends today.”

Thank you to my new sisters for sharing with me: Angel, Ananda, Phoenix, Rayon de Lumiere, Secret Island, Avalin, Esmerelda, Natasha and Porte de tous les Possibles.

*** stay tuned for my fall Bodysex Quebec date

Bodysex Saskatoon, CA

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You've cum a long way baby

Sat, 04/21/2018 - 22:44

Natasha, You've come so far in just the 3 short years i think it is since you started your orgasmic journey here. You've learned so much and now you are teaching, guiding, and inspiring others toward their own orgasmic journey. The way you express yourself in writing has evolved and become more powerful along with your orgasm. It's palpable. 
Dodson's writings inspired me years ago to focus on my own self pleasure and helped guide my hand until my orgasm was finally at the center of my life, stronger and more plentiful than I ever imagined it could become.
You are right on, we masturbate and develop our orgasms as a way to honor our ancesters before us. We also masturbate for our fellow sisters, for our independence and rights. We masturbate as an expression of our soul and our detemination to be ourselves and become better.
As a modern liberated woman in control of my own destiny and orgasms, I'm proud and greatful for you taking the difficult but all so important, meaningful path you have taken, spreading the mesaage of masturbation and orgasmic lifestyle.
I wish you would write about your own orgasms and how they have evolved and changed your own life.

Marti is so right, Natasha

Sun, 04/29/2018 - 12:42

Marti is so right, Natasha has evolved and really embodies a spirit   enlightened and actualized by Betty's teachings. I have seen a number of students here, such as Carlin, learn, then embrace, and then become disciples in their own right, teaching and nurturing others toward a fully orgasmic lifestyle.
Each evolves in their own unique way, like a flower blossoming, then able to touch different people in their own way, 
As a man, Carlin and then Natasha touched me in a way Dr. Betty could not on her own. Through Betty's students-become-teachers, her message got through. I stopped depending of others for pleasure and permission by finally embracing the highly masturbatory, ejaculatory lifestyle I needed deep down inside but was to afraid to admit. As a Bi male, I spent years wrestling with my identity and fighting my emotions. 
By embracing masturbation and allowing myself to reach out, became aware of an entire world out there of other men, masturbators just like me. A supportive network of friends who don't judge and want nothing more than to share and encourage each others masturbation. Such freedom and weight lifted to know I'm not alone and welcome in the open nurturing arms of other masturbators just like me.

Lifestyle by choice

Fri, 05/11/2018 - 12:06

As a man nearing 50, I can look back at the evolution of the way I perceive what I now have come to refer to as my masturbatory lifestyle.  While I have been a frequent masturbator for over 35 years, I hardly discussed it with anyone in my teens and early 20s.  The partners I had in my mid and later 20s were always aware of it, and accepted it (as it did not interfere in any way with our partner sex), but did not embrace it.  In my late 20s I began to consider it a hobby.  As I got older, I began to talk about it more openly.  I got mixed reactions, but over time, many more positive ones than negative ones.  It now seems like women my age (at least many that I have met) are not only accepting but appreciate my lifestyle and find it erotic and desirable.  

Nelson ahead of his time having embraced it as a hobby so young

Fri, 05/11/2018 - 11:27

I think it is simply so open minded of you and ahead of your time to have come to terms and then embraced masturbation as a hobby so young in life, especially given the repressive, backwards attitude society had during those years.  I'm sure it was a struggle and so you were brave and are better off for it to have persisted masturbating like you did. The need and pleasure must have surely been intense for you and so no telling what illness you avoided but it is a shame that society was not yet ready to support your masturbation like it is today. It's good you can now share it and be accepted for it as that will surely help you take it to new heights. I think women tend to be more open and understanding of this than men and so whenever a man can transcend their hang-ups about it and open up with me, they earn my respect. If he can admit that to you he can admit anything and it helps build trust, especially for the rare man who can admit to masturbating so much that it's a hobby for them.  LOL
That's Dr. Betty's promise and gift to women, thousands of whom are benifiting every day, or more, and thanking her for it. We need more men to embrace it as a hobby and be open about it. Think of what we could all gain and learn from that.

Thank you, Marti

Fri, 05/11/2018 - 12:14

Your comments are much appreciated.  It's always nice to get a woman's perspective.  Glad my hobby reference made you laugh, but the truth is, no one thinks twice if a man spends many of his evenings in front of a TV or video games, I just have preferred (and frankly needed) the ability and the immmense pleasure from frequent and for extended periods of masturbation.

Re: Thank You from Nelson

Mon, 05/14/2018 - 07:15

Glad you appreciate it Nelson. Not many men are willing to open up like you have. You make a good point I had not thought of.  That no one thinks twice about a guy spending hours in front of TV or games. Many guys spend hours a day developing their biceps or sculpting wood ducks for thar matter. Some even risk their lives on hobbies like climbing. Such hobbies can consume much but make life worth living. That you choose to spend hours a day developing your cock should be thought of no different. And the stroking and ejaculations you enjoy take you to ever new heights without ever having to leave the ground like climbing would. You obviously gain so much from your masturbation hobby and it makes life worth living.
I think I understand and agree more than ever now and encourage you to keep going with that analogy. It's wonderful and so true.

Hello Marti!  I am so sorry

Sat, 08/25/2018 - 16:07

Hello Marti! 
I am so sorry that I missed your comment until now! Thank you so much for your words of support and for sharing in my journey alongside me. I feel very touched! I will take your suggestion about writing about my orgasms and how they have evolved and changed my life. I appreciate you inviting me to do so and being an inspiration. 

much love,